Need white yarn .

I need white yarn to finish my block throw it is thick and warm ,,, Since i ma doing a fall theme and have used brown and orange and yellow all i need now is some white but i think i want to make it bigger . Throw i also want to make my mom a rug , or a throw for her. I no i will get in trouble for saying the word mom but thaat what she is . The funny thing is that i have to turned my cell off cause when i talk about my mom or say something i get a call so i just turned the cell of and will not be turning it on for a while. Just like right  now i just fond out that i post to my friends that if they want to come and walk with me got turned it something out of paportion. why do i even bother to try and change when one person want to get me all riled up .

Tired today

So i was woke up by a bright light lol no not heaven the room across the hall was on and was bright . When i tried to head back to sleep i could not cause the light would not let me . so i am up and not happy about it cause i should be starved but ill food make me wanna get sick . I heard that elmo is this year most wanted toy so i ask my gams to get me a man size elmo and she lol , she said waht will you do with it i say i would love it like a man that dose not talk back and not to cheat lol , the perfect bed mate .

Lost at the heart

when i beg to move on with my life i lock up my thoughs and my feelings with barbwire . I just think i dont want to go back to being the person i was , So if i am ment to be alone i would like a sign cause if i am then why should i look for a man when i am doom to be alone . If god will just tell me you are ment to be alone then i will move on and get over that and be happy for the other that have the love that i will never have with another .

Asking for forgiveness

I one time ask what I thought was a friend of mine for forgiveiness ... He turned me down , the things is if you never forgive you never heal . I no i have not and will not forgive my real father for is ill thoughts . But to think that i lost the one man that I trust with all my hurt and things . He turn his back on me . Then to find out he was only my friend cause he thought i would have sex with him . Friends dont have sex sorry. That when he change and left the one that loved him to the dust . I prayed and cried that he would call and let me no that he is ok . There nothing !!!! You were there when my family went threw the worst how can you leave me like that . You were my brother i miss you so much .... I keep my cell turn off cause when i have a bad day you the one person i wanna call , when i have good news i wanna call you but you never there you changed your number . I dont care that you only wanted sex but you could still call me .