Asking for forgiveness

I one time ask what I thought was a friend of mine for forgiveiness ... He turned me down , the things is if you never forgive you never heal . I no i have not and will not forgive my real father for is ill thoughts . But to think that i lost the one man that I trust with all my hurt and things . He turn his back on me . Then to find out he was only my friend cause he thought i would have sex with him . Friends dont have sex sorry. That when he change and left the one that loved him to the dust . I prayed and cried that he would call and let me no that he is ok . There nothing !!!! You were there when my family went threw the worst how can you leave me like that . You were my brother i miss you so much .... I keep my cell turn off cause when i have a bad day you the one person i wanna call , when i have good news i wanna call you but you never there you changed your number . I dont care that you only wanted sex but you could still call me .